


there will always be music left to write

by thetruthmayvary



Series: of all lies, art is the least untrue [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 17:39:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/738330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetruthmayvary/pseuds/thetruthmayvary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn believes in him, so Niall finds the courage (and actually sings in front of people).</p>
            </blockquote>





	there will always be music left to write

**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't centered around Harry and Louis like I said it will be, but I kind of wanted it to continue to be Niall's story.  
> (Excuse the song lyrics btw)

It's just a regular day.

A day like any other.

Or at least that's what Niall's trying to convince himself of.

No, but really, there's no need to be nervous.

He's just supposed to sing his own songs in a bar full of people in less than 12 hours.

No need to be nervous at all.

“Zayn!” Niall cries out, shaking the boy next to him as strong as he can without actually giving him a concussion. “Wake up, you cunt!”

Zayn opens his eyes abruptly and takes a disoriented look around until his stare lands at Niall.

“Something better be on fire,”  Zayn says in his morning voice and Niall thinks how he would have preferred that option.

“I can't do this,” he tells him and he knows that he won't have to explain any further because reading him like a book is one of Zayn's many talents.

Zayn smiles at him from the pillow he's still half burying his head in. “Stage fright can be your friend if you show it who's in control.”

Niall usually loves Zayn's philosophical comments but right now he's life's at stake and he doesn't have time for that.

“There's still enough time left to cancel, right?”

“No,” Zayn says determinedly and when Niall reaches for his phone on the nightstand Zayn pulls him back and kisses that spot under his ear and wraps his arm around his hipbones and that is just simply not fair.

“Zayn,” Niall complains in a voice that hardly says he wants him to stop.

Zayn, of course, ignores him and Niall can't take it anymore, so he turns around and presses Zayn down on his pillow as he kisses him until they're both breathless.

It's incredible how good kissing him can feel, even after a full month of doing so every day. He still gets that rush of blood to his cheeks and his whole body feels warm and his heart has to work twice as hard to just keep up with it all.

It's hard to stop, it always is, especially when that warmth centres lower on his body, but Zayn's kisses become slower and gentler and he pushes him off of himself equally as slowly and gently and Niall knows that he'll want to go to the park now that he already woke him up early enough.

He doesn't complain though, because he knows how much Zayn loves drawing strangers and also because he remembers that he's life is going to end in less than 12 hours.

He's thinking how he's going to call Bill, the bar manager and cancel it all off when Zayn goes to take a shower, but Zayn obviously foresees his plan because he takes both of their phones and carries them with him to the bathroom.

Niall sighs. Sometimes the fact that Zayn can read his mind isn't all that useful.

“Can I have my phone back now?” Niall asks Zayn once he gets out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his hips. “I told Liam I'll let him know at what time to meet us there.”

“Sure, I erased Bill's number anyway,” Zayn says with a satisfied smirk and Niall glares at him with what he hopes are deathly eyes.

“You’re pure evil,” Niall accuses him as he snatches his phone and looks for Bill's contact to make sure Zayn isn't bluffing.

“You know you want to do this,” Zayn responds and yes, of course Niall knows that.

But we don't always have the courage to do what we want.

“I'll freeze. Or I'll faint. Or puke. In any case, it won't be pretty.”

Zayn just shakes his head and laughs and he kisses Niall on the forehead before he starts to put on the clothes he threw on the floor last night.

He's gone in the matter of minutes and after Niall calls Liam and tells him that he and Danielle should be at the bar around half past 8 and sends Louis a text saying that he and Harry should do the same, he takes his guitar and starts playing one of the songs he chose for tonight.

If he can't cancel the whole thing, then he can at least practice to try and not embarrass himself _too_ much.

 

They arrive at the bar early.

It's almost empty and somewhere in the back of his mind Niall prays for it to stay that way.

However, it's Saturday and of course that soon enough people begin to pour in.

Zayn squeezes his shoulder and smiles encouragingly every time Niall starts fidgeting and somehow that helps.

When Liam arrives with Danielle, he taps his back and tells him how proud of him he is and how he knows he's going to blow everyone's mind, and that on the other hand _isn't_ helping.

“So what are you singing? Anything we've heard before?” Danielle asks, once she and Liam join them in the booth.

“An old tree on the lake side and If you ask me. And then there's one none of you heard yet,” Niall informs her.

 _“I_ haven't even heard it,” Zayn says and some people would sound angry and disappointed (because Niall has actually refused to sing it to him), but not Zayn. He just looks curious.

“Well we'll hear it soon enough,” Liam offers and Niall wonders how is it that Liam of all people is so bad at being helpful tonight.

Niall starts biting his fingernails and Zayn does that squeeze and smile thing again, so Niall sits on his hands to get them away from his teeth.

When Harry and Louis finally show up, they're both grinning at him wildly and throwing in words of encouragement that, honestly, aren't doing him much good.

They sit next to him in the booth, lining up their bodies so that both their thighs and arms are touching, and if that wasn't enough, Louis intertwines their fingers together under the table and Niall tries to act like he hasn't noticed.

“I wanted to make you a banner, but there wasn't enough time in the end,” Louis says and Zayn laughs when Niall shots Louis a look that questions their friendship.

“Sorry,” Harry adds, like it's his fault that Louis was too busy to make him what would probably have been a most embarrassing banner ever. Niall's confused for a moment until it hits him exactly why Harry might feel guilty and he kind of wishes that that thought didn’t occur to him.  He still feels grateful, though.

“It's perfectly fine,” he says, trying to sound calm, which proves to be a challenge because he's feeling more and more nervous by the second.

“We will still cheer the loudest, don't you worry,” Liam says with a convincing smile and everybody around the table nods and voices out their agreement (except for Zayn, who's the only one who realizes that that's really not what Niall wants).

They have an another round of drinks before Niall takes the stage, and Zayn has to squeeze his shoulder and smile twice more during that, but somehow Niall manages to pull through it and walk towards the microphone with his guitar and smile through Bill's announcement and people clapping and Louis yelling “We love you, Niall!”

And he's standing in front of about 50 people and that's not even that many, but it's more than he's ever sang to and he can't stop thinking how he's going to screw this up and forever lose his courage to try anything like it again.

He laughs a little and says “Hi“ into the microphone and then adjusts his guitar. He isn't quite ready to start singing, so instead he starts talking, and he's telling himself that that's okay, because talking to the audience is preferable and musicians do it all the time.

“This song is called Old tree on the lake side, and I wrote this – well, years ago, actually. It's - well, it's kind of about growing up. But growing up the wrong way. “

He has almost everybody's attention and he knows he should start singing now. He spares a look at their booth, and Harry's showing him thumps up and smiling alongside everybody else and Zayn's looking at him with so much faith that Niall thinks he finds a bit of it in himself, as well.

He starts playing the chords and closes his eyes before opening his mouth to sing.

_There was an old tree on the lake side_

_Where we used to build our fort_

_And it was my favourite place to hide_

_From everything I wasn't ready to face_

_You used to love it, too_

_And you used to love the chase_

_Now you just got your eyes on the prize_

_And everything's in its size_

 

It was easier that he thought it would be. His breathe didn't hitch, he didn't mess up the lyrics and couldn't hear anyone booing him, so he opened his eyes before continuing.

 

_I watched you grow up while I fell behind_

_I wanted to tell you to stop_

_But instead I just hurried up and caught up_

_They cut down that tree_

_And I didn’t understand one thing_

_They let the birds be_

_But after that they couldn’t sing_

_You took the shortcut_

_On your way to where you're now_

_And shortcuts are misleading but appealing_

_They're more about when than how_

_And I followed 'cause I didn’t know any better_

_I watched you become just another one_

_I wanted to remind you of what set you apart_

_But instead I just froze until you were gone_

_They cut down that tree_

_And I didn’t understand one thing_

_They let the birds be_

_But after that they couldn’t sing_

_There was an old tree on the lake side_

_Where birds sang and we shared our dreams_

_It was my favourite place to hide_

_From all the lies and all the schemes_

_They cut down our tree_

_And I don’t understand one thing_

_If they let the birds be_

_Why can’t they sing?_

 

There's a big applause after he finishes the song and Niall hears Louis yell “We want more!“ and he smiles widely.

He feels good.

No, actually, he feels happy. He's performing and Zayn's watching him and he hasn't thrown up or fainted yet and the world is a good place.

“The next's one's called If you ask me,” he says and ponders for a moment if he should explain what it's about. But since he doesn't really want to remember what, or rather who it's about, he decides against it and just starts singing.

 

_You walk in front of me_

_And then get mad at me for not walking besides you_

_You say you like me_

_But then you criticize every single thing I do_

_I try to look nice_

_Because you hate when I'm underdressed_

_I offer you all the parts of me that are good_

_But you want the best_

_And if you ask me why I can't act normal_

_I'll try to respond like a normal person would_

_And if you ask me why I like you_

_I'll name all the things you think I should_

_And if you ask me if it's worth the pain_

_I'll just shrug and not say a word_

_'Cause how can I tell you it’s all in vain_

_When you already think I'm absurd_

_The shapes of clouds_

_The smell of grass_

_Snowflakes and daises_

_The sound of bass_

_Those are not the turns our conversation takes_

_But sometimes I wish they were_

_'Cause maybe I like you_

_But I would like to know for sure_

_And if you ask me why I laugh so loudly_

_I won’t know what to say_

_And if you ask me if I’m fine_

_I'll leave the truth for another day_

_And if you ask me if it's worth the pain_

_I'll just shrug and not say a word_

_'Cause how can I tell you it's all in vain_

_When you already think I'm absurd_

He gets another big applause after that, and he can feel the confidence growing in him. Which is convenient, because he's going to need it to be able to perform the third song.

“This last one's called Wind,” he says and once again decides against explaining what it's about.

This time it's not because he doesn't want to remember the person, but rather because that person is sitting in the room and will know and understand everything without him saying anything.

_Birds passed by_

_And I wished I could fly_

_But I was stuck in this insanity_

_This room full of vanity_

_Every step felt like falling_

_And all I was doing was stalling_

_My thoughts were hidden_

_They still sometimes are_

_Every act of imagination was forbidden_

_But I'm breaking those chains now_

_Sometimes all you need_

_Is some wind in your back_

_That little something you lack_

_You were that little something to me_

_This is what I managed to be_

_Because you are that little something to me_

_Opened up my mind_

_You made me notice_

_Everything for which I was blind_

_And your every kiss_

_Is a ticket to somewhere_

_To a place I'll later miss_

_Sometimes all you need_

_Is some wind in your back_

_That little something you lack_

_You were that little something to me_

_This is what I managed to be_

_Because you are that little something to me_

_You are that little something to me_

_You are the answer to my plea_

_That little something to me_

There's an applause again and everybody's eyes are fixed on Niall, but his are fixed on the booth with the loudest audience and with Zayn who's smiling and looking straight back at him.

He almost storms down the small wooden stage to meet him, until he remembers that that wouldn't be very polite. So he says “Thank you” and takes a small bow before skipping the three steps that lead down and rushing to their booth.

Louis screams in his face and hugs him tight and then everybody else joins in and Niall feels at least a dozen arms embracing him. When they finally let him go Niall’s eyes search for Zayn and they find him standing there on the left, smiling like he always knew that everything’s going to go just as well as it did, and Niall kisses him before he even manages to say “Congratulations”.

 

Next morning Niall wakes up alone.

He doesn't have to think long to know where Zayn is, so he puts on some clothes and walks to the park.

He finds him in his usual spot, but there's no one sitting across from him so Niall seizes his chance and takes that empty sit.

“Do you want to draw me?”

Zayn chuckles.  “The last time I did that it didn't go so well.”

“What you're talking about? My mum loved that portrait!”

Zayn just chuckles again and starts putting away his things, so Niall concludes that he won't be getting another one.

“I can't do it while you're in front of me,” Zayn explains after a moment.

His words imply that he actually draws him when Niall's not around and that leaves Niall feeling freaked out and incredibly flattered at the same time.

He suddenly remembers what they did that day they've met after Zayn was finished with work.

“You want to go for a walk then?” he asks him and Zayn nods.

They carry the two chairs behind the ice-cream stand and head towards the exit of the park.

“I loved that song,” Zayn says as he takes his hand and entwines their fingers together. “I don't think I've told you that yet.”

“You did?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Niall responds with a grin and blushes a little and Zayn seems to find that terribly amusing because he laughs and kisses him on the cheek.

“You didn't break your word, you know,” Niall says then because he's cheeks are already red and he might as well take full advantage of that.

“What word?” Zayn asks, but Niall doubts he doesn’t remember.

Zayn remembers everything.

“When you said you want to convince me to get a job I love and be happy. You did that. You made me happy.”

“You're still an assistant, Niall,” Zayn says, but Niall can tell that he knows that that's not the point.

“Not for long.”

“Of course not,” Zayn agrees and gives him another one of those looks filled with complete faith and Niall thinks how he never wants Zayn to stop looking at him like that.

As they walk through the rest of the park, they pass next to a young father playing catch with his twins and a group of teenagers sitting in the grass and laughing, but this time Niall barely notices them.

 


End file.
